Losing Yourself at the IEP Table
Ever walk into an IEP meeting and struggle to show up as your best self? You know the conversation is going to be tough and you are just crossing your fingers hoping you can say and do the right things.
Recognizing the Challenge
IEP meetings can be intense. You might find yourself overwhelmed, frustrated, or feeling like you're not able to be your true self. Whether you're a parent advocating for your child, a teacher striving to meet each student's needs, or an admin juggling countless responsibilities, staying true to who you are is crucial.
Who Do You Want to Be?
Let's start by asking ourselves an important question: Who do you want to be at the IEP table? Can you list three words that describe this person? Perhaps you want to be collaborative, kind, and effective. Now, reflect on whether you have been embodying these traits in your recent meetings. If not, what's holding you back?
Common Barriers and How to Overcome Them
Many of us have reasons for why we can't be who we want to be at the IEP table. Maybe you want to be kind, but you feel that being nice doesn't get things done. Or perhaps you aim to be collaborative, but you struggle when others aren't bringing the necessary data. These feelings are valid, but they don't have to define your IEP experience.
Finding Support
One of the most effective ways to stay true to yourself is to bring a support person to your IEP meetings. This could be a friend, a family member, or even a Master IEP Coach®. Having someone by your side can help you maintain your integrity and focus on your goals.
Preparing with a System
Preparation is key. If you often feel blindsided by new information at meetings, request a draft copy of the IEP ahead of time. Many states mandate that parents receive a draft, but even if yours doesn't, you can still ask. Reviewing this draft allows you to participate more effectively and reduces the chances of being caught off guard.
Managing Emotions and Responses
It's easy to get overwhelmed by emotions during these meetings. Create a system for yourself to manage this. Write down anything that triggers a negative reaction and take a moment to reflect before responding. This practice helps you stay calm and collected, ensuring that your responses are thoughtful and constructive.
Powerful Sayings
Sometimes, having a few prepared phrases can make all the difference. Here are two that I recommend:
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"Can you write that down?" - Use this when you need to document requests or responses. It helps diffuse tension and ensures clarity.
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"Can you show me the policy?" - This is useful when you're told something can't be done. Asking to see the policy can either validate the statement or reveal areas where there might be flexibility.
Staying True to Yourself
Remember, you can show up to an IEP meeting as your best self. By having the right support, preparation, and tools, you can navigate these meetings with integrity. When you stay true to who you are, you'll handle whatever comes your way with confidence and grace.
Final Thoughts
If you feel like you're not able to be the person you want to be at the IEP table, know that there are ways to change this. You can have the support, systems, and sayings you need to stay true to yourself and collaborate effectively.
To learn more about the Master IEP Coach® Mentorship, click here.
I'll see you next time on the Special Education Inner Circle podcast!
